You may have realized that I’ve been somewhat of a whiny bitch lately, and for good reason. Its come to the point where I decided to write a series of articles on why I hate my unit, appropriately named with an acronym, like everything else in the military. Nonetheless I present to you my first WILTED – Why I loathe the entire department of defense. edit: I decided that was gay and now just put the reason number.

I consider myself a pretty tolerant and patient person, but everyone has a breaking point. While I haven’t reached it yet, I doubt with the way thing are going I may get closer to it than I like to. For me, I can put up with a lot of bullshit, as long as there is slight reasoning, justification, or even a pinch of logic, however I work for the wrong company for any of that.

Lets start from the very beginning. Being deployed isn’t the easiest of tasks. Away from everything that you care about, love, enjoy, and even those small annoyances that tick you off, you miss, a lot. Everything in your daily life is replaced with a lesser version; every restaurant  in the world is now two chow halls, modern conveniences like driving and internet are now rare luxuries, your personal space is cut, your living conditions (while free) are now a wooden jail cell, and simple tasks like going to the bathroom become chores. In essence life is not that different than that of a glorified prisoner. I was well aware of all this, and am really quite alright with all of it.

So naturally life at this point is already difficult, you’d think everyone would be as accommodating as possible on not make it more so. From here on, I’m not just being negative, its just that bad. Its odd, the more you get shit on, and the more time goes by, the less you want. At first I wanted to return to my unit, then I wanted a day off, then a half day, then to be treated (equally), and now I want just to sleep for more than two hours.

In case you hate reading (like most Americans) I have put up a cliff notes version, put into the form of a graph, I did a pretty shitty job however:

My morale in the form of a graph my first month.

In chronological order, to the best of my knowledge:

  • Two of us were tasked out to battalion, my counter-part “hit the lottery”. I ended up working in a 12 hour busy section, he works 4 hours during the day, plays PlayStation on a large flat-screen the duration of the shift, and is often released early. The rest of my unit, with exception of command group, works six to eight hours, with a significantly smaller workload, some of them having nothing to do at all. At this point I have been isolated from my peers, that I have spent months with getting to this stage. Working nights leaves very little contact with them, and I have very little knowledge of what the rest of my unit does. Ironically working the most and longest, in turn yields earning the least (monetarily).
  • There have been times where mandatory things to do during the day, including a five hour period of redundant training. Detrimental to my mission, Arcadian rhythm, and sleep.
  • After becoming proficient in my job, I am then, on a whim, switched over to a busier section, and my hours of operation are completely reversed. I have no time to recover, and am not properly trained, and the environment is seemingly hostile. At the point I feel like battalions bitch, but remain helpless.
  • Because of poor communication on my behalf, and the only time I am talked to by my organic chain of command, I am summoned for a counseling statement. I am pulled out of my busy schedule, at an inconvenient time, in regards to a minute, frivolous issue. Again, singled out. Counseling statement can be viewed here (PDF).
  • In retaliation I write this:

Respected delegates, honored guests, and to whom this may concern:

First and foremost I hope your morning is going well, and to save you the trouble of asking, mine could not be going any better. Here within lies information about my personnel status, or PERSTAT, and am pleased to announce that all is… well. If any changes need to be made to this email, the format it is written, information disclosed, or any imaginable details that can be omitted or added, please do not hesitate and necessary changes will be made.  Otherwise all desired specifications of detail, standards, and professionalism are met. If there is anything you need of me, please do not hesitate and I will respond in a timely manner. Albeit summons may be required in such circumstances, if allowable, please notify me for a schedule to be arranged; as lunch or after my shift is most fitting and efficient for me, as my mission is very arduous and monotonous, and as always, comes first. Of course if you seek joy out of making my life miserable, then continue to do so as you have been for the last four months.

V/R,

SPC. Michael V. Hogan
313th MCB PPO & 948th TC DET (BAF MCT)
REMISSIONS & CANCELLATIONS
DSN: 431-4915
NIPR: Michael.v.hogan@afghan.swa.army.mil

  • A uphill battle, I lose, bad. This behavior warrants an extra 2 hours of extra duty before and after my shift, to be carried throughout the rest of 2010, including Christmas.
  • Since then everything has improved greatly, and I feel that all the events that have taken place paved the way for a seemingly easier deployment, and have strengthened me as an individual.

Of course there are a slew of pros, it doesn’t balance anything else, but I’ll be damned if this place gets the best of me:

  • The unit is overstaffed, and there is little to no work to do. While I can easily keep myself occupied, there are people from my organic unit willing to “sort rocks from largest to smallest”.
  • I stay busy, making time go by pretty quick.
  • This is probably rebuilding whatever worth ethic I managed to destroy over the course of several months.
  • I am in a situation where I get to meet a lot of people.
  • While I do not have to work directly with the handful of retards that are in my unit, I deal with them on a very minimal basis, and am in a position where I can dick them out, since I work for a superior unit, I am therefore their superior.
  • Granted there are a lot of cons as well, I don’t mind them, as it’s nothing like the dreaded first month.