Satirical

Oh oil, remember the good times we’ve had? Passing the drivers exam, our first car, the road trip to Mexico; you and I have had some memorable times. While reminiscing is nice, I need to move on, and I think its best if we both see other fuels. I don’t want to hurt you, but I feel we are drifting apart. You are very career driven, rich new friends, practically a higher demographic; $100 a barrel, you’ve made it, Mr. and Mrs. Oil must be very proud. You are moving so fast and it’s impossible to keep up, people are fighting over you and it’s impossible to match the competition. That’s not for me, I had fun at first, we could spend a lot of free time together, we could just go in the car and go for a drive, just because we felt like it. Our relationship used to be about freedom and the open road, now everything requires planning. I don’t like having to live to my life around yours. No matter how much effort I put in, or what changes, you always seem to stay the same. The high maintenance lifestyle i can no long accommodate either, even when you started needing lubricant, which was a stretch at first, the coolants, filters, its just too much.

Oil, I have a confession to make, I haven’t been entirely faithful. It all started on the Internet, as a little innocent fun, an escape from your never ending demands. I started off just looking, mostly at fuels that were out of my reach, I never imagined anything would ever happen – just a silly fantasy really. Can you imagine me with a solar car, or even a fuel cell? But every time I danced with a notion, and came back to you – it was never the same, the spark we had wasn’t there and our relationship became dry and lifeless.

Then I met someone, someone that reignited that original spark. Sure there are a lot of rumors flying around, but its as much of a surprise to everyone and it is to you or me, but it all makes sense. Remember my childhood sweetheart? You know her. Thats right, batteries. No, it’s not like that anymore, not just toys, and never putting out enough, she’s really turned her life around. She’s lost lots of weight, and even though shes seemingly everywhere; cameras, laptops, phones; she always manages to have time for me and my needs. Shes getting off heal coal addiction, and takes her needs constructively, getting her fix from a day in the sun or even a windy day. It’s really refreshing to see someone who is so independent and grounded. And while she can go anywhere she needs to, she is always happy at home, wherever she wants it to be. I’ll probably move out with her soon, maybe we’ll get a car on our own, you know, built ourselves. Maybe one day, we’ll get one built by a proper car maker, but until then we are happy in our own creation. As long as we are together that is what matters.

I know this is a bad way to end it, and I hope we can still be friends. You’ll be back in action in no time anyways, you have your friends. I know in a couple weeks there will be a rich, handsome sports car owner that will really appreciate you, fulfilling all your needs. Even as your career gets less and les mainstream, but I can’t just get batteries out of my head, and I foresee a long and happy life together.