Enumerated

I tend to think in terms of categorization, its easy to read, gives suspense to your element, amplifies humor, and I’m lazy.

Random number (17) of random ideas: XII.

0
1 year ago
by Hoho in ,

http://www.random.org

  1. Tailoring shops should post mock restaurant signs in the front of their store, one side saying “suit yourself” the other saying “please wait to be suited.”
  2. Not sure if any of you have seen the navy uniform, it looks like the played out urban camo trend of the 1990′s
  3. No matter what word(s) you emphasize or where you pause when you say it, there is no uncool way to say “Shut the fuck up”
  4. How does the bathroom system in lesbian bars work? Do they have butches and fems? Do they have those things that allow women to stand peeing up?
  5. If Super Mario were real, Italy would most likely win every Olympic event.
  6. I think a better title to my book of cuddling (featuring the many different ways in which people can cuddle) would be the Cuddle Sutra.
  7. Every festival I’ve ever been to has funnel cake, be it Hawaiian, Greek, Italian, or even renaissance – which makes me come to believe that every culture has funnel cake dating back to the medieval era.
  8. Further proof that women are poor drivers: when have you seen a woman become a pilot? I seriously doubt any women could ever taxi one of those things around
  9. I wonder what dogs say when they bark to other dogs. I bet they talk to each other wondering what race they are. Oh? Half boxer and half rott, nice, yeah I was dating this one bitch who was terrier and poodle, but nothing really gets me going like shitzus.
  10. What age does the bowl cut go out of style? I don’t know about you – but I think it would be awesome if a grown ass man had it, I mean people have mullets so it can’t be that ridiculous.
  11. My new favorite “wanna know” joke: Wanna know how I know you’re gay? eHarmony paired you up with Elton John.
  12. I wonder when Kelis gets married, if the person marrying them will say, “Kelis, do you promise your milkshake to bring 1 boy to your yard, in sickness and in health.. ect”
  13. It is said that dreams are a combination of things you are forgetting and things that are on your mind. I can disprove this theory as I’ve only had two dreams about sex and none about food.
  14. I remember as a child there was this lady hostess at a buffet who blinked A LOT. I remember in my head jokingly named her Blinky and felt bad afterward, and from time to time I will think of her or play Pac-Man and feel a little bad.
  15. I’m not sure if anyone does this, but if I know a flood is coming, I’d put tracking devices on all the ATM’s.
  16. It seems a lot of actual boxing takes place in the last ten seconds and even after the bell, why not just make boxing into 120 15 second rounds or something to that equivalent.
  17. Mrs. Doubtfire is a really good movie, if you haven’t watched it since you were a child I would recommend doing so, there are a lot of adult jokes in that movie. Nonetheless, in the movie Mrs. Doubtfire gets caught by her son noticing her (him?) peeing while standing up, of course this makes no sense, since if you would walk by the bathroom, you can tell she would have a penis by the noise the urine makes when it hits the bowl, I don’t even understand why Mrs. Doubtfire would stand up to pee altogether.

Archive of “Random number of random ideas“

cookies

Top 10: Care package ingredients.

3
1 year ago
by Hoho in , , ,

Battle, conflict, combat, fighting, however you want to say it – we are a nation at war. The elements that consist of war, the weaponry, personnel, tactics, equipment; the list goes on, but there is no more important element to war than the care packages. Granted, the former statement, a strictly fictional statement, for your sake and mine, we will consider it absolute truth, and with that being said – I have made a very simple way you can contribute to the war, but more importantly, my morale, general well-being, and your sense of satisfaction. There are two simple steps to a care package: the address (mentioned right after this sentence!) and the ingredients, while you may think its okay to send me illicit drugs and pornography, I assure you its a little more complex than that (probably should mention that flat rate boxes are a good way to go).

Michael “Hoho” Hogan
948th TC DET (MCT)
APO, AE 09354


1. Fresh baked cookies or any cookies for that matter: Cookies are as good as currency out here, maybe even better. You can get currency anywhere around here if you really wanted to. From the finance building, AAFES, the local vendors, or even someone in a very deep sleep, however you cannot get fresh baked cookies, mainly due to the lack of ingredients and readily available ovens. As far as possessing cookies, they rank quite high on the barter market, but there is much greater delight to eat your love and efforts. Anything but peanut butter will suffice, but fresh baked is sooooo good, and yes, they’ll last (send priority however).

2. Asian Snacks: This is a very broad and vague category, don’t let that deter you. Its very easy, you go into an Asian market, and if its a snack you happily toot it and boot it (buy it and ship it). I was going to make this to the melody of the Sound of Music, but I’m sure I failed at it, since I’m not incredibly familiar with the tune, and Asian words confuse me, syllable wise. Here are a few of my favorite things (asian snack remix version):

Tasty dried mangoes and also dried seaweed,
Nagayara nuts are delicious indeed,
Lychee jellies in the large multi-packs,
These are my favorite asian-y snacks.

Meiji Yan Yan, Pocky, and Hello Panda,
Wasabi peas, shrimp chips, and candy-soda,
Various fruit gummies in different sacks,
These are my favorite asian-y snacks.

When I’m lonely,
Or quite hungry,
Or getting shot at,
I take a bite into my favorite snack,
and then I get a little fat.

3. Mixed Nuts: This is rather self-explanatory, so I’ll save you the jibber-jabber and get to the nitty-gritty. Cashews, almonds, Macadamia nuts, and walnuts are my favorite nuts. To justify the fact that I don’t really like peanuts, peanuts are actually a legume and don’t fit the category, but to ride along with the whole beggars cant be choosers philosophy, I’m satisfied with the fact you’re thinking of me. Roasted, salted, plain, raw, or smoked, they’re all fine to me, however, I lean a little towards the raw side. I thought of making a 2nd top ten list, but that would just be too much for you, a flow chart would be better, but far too time consuming. Oh, pistachios are grand too.

4. Tea: Regardless of how well you know me, there is one certain thing. I only order one drink at restaurants, and is often a deciding factor that decides whether or not I want to eat at a restaurant. Iced tea. So you can’t send ice. No big deal, you can send tea, and lots of it. Water and sunlight is bountiful out here, and there is only one thing missing from the equation, tea. Dealers choice on this, minus chamomile, that shit is nasty. If you really want to get huge kudos, whole leaf is nice, and black is my favorite, but I should be drinking more green, bonus points if its some completely bogus tea from like Trader Joes or something.

5. Ramen: This is extremely self explanatory. Inexplicably the cheapest, hottest meal one can get – its without a doubt one of the most convenient things to have in a very close vicinity. As far as ramen or any form of instant noodles go, non-Maruchan or non-Nissin is perfect. As far as they type, they’re all delectable, be it Yakisoba, rice noodles, ramen, Korean, Japanese, even kiddie Pokemon stuff, sky’s the limit. Surprise me! Here is a decent example:

6. Non-Carbonated Caffiene: Granted tea is a part of this list, I find that as I grow older, my dependency on caffeine grows greater and greater. This wonderful list is to include: caffeine pills, 5 hour energies, coffee grounds, and practically any other conceivable form of caffeine that won’t break or burst along side a 5-30 day trip across the world.

7. Meat & Crackers: This is broken down into three possible things. Those meat and cheese things from Hickory Farms or practically anywhere you turn your neck during the Holidays, those things by the way, are delicious. Then we have meats, such as: Jerky and pre-made tuna that work well. Lastly your favorite crackers are my favorite crackers, especially if they are Triscuits or club crackers.

8. Art Supplies: It’s something I’ve sadly lost touch with, and while most of my talent was with copy paper and mechanical pencils (and mostly will remain), I’d like to branch into one other thing:  Permanent markers & Munny. Also mechanical pencils and drawing pads fantastic too, granted I probably won’t need either.

9. edited

10. Really frivolous shit: With the upcomingness of my birthday, Christmas, secular and non-secular Holidays, or any other gift giving occasion closing in on us, I can understand the unyielding desire to want to purchase me higher end items, before I have the opportunity to buy them for myself. Normally I would politely decline, but I would hate to deprive you of the pleasure of imaging the look on my face when I open  your box across the world.

  • DS Games: It mostly comes down to puzzle games and RPG’s, but I’m really trying to sway away from my video games’ grasp on me. They make for good time killers, which there is a lot of to do.
    -Meteos
    -Picross 3D
    -Mario Kart DS
    -Yoshi’s Island DS
    -New Super Mario Bros.
    -Professor Layton and the Unwound Future (or anything from that series)
    -Final Fantasy IV
    -Chrono Trigger
    -Puzzle Quest
  • Camera Lenses: Another hobby I’d like to get into- it’s rather an expensive one. Which is where you come in! (nude photos available upon request, if you’re hot, or rich – if you’re actually pondering whether or not to get them I suggest buying them elsewhere)
    -SAL-18200 DT 18-200mm f/3.5-6.3 Zoom Lens $529
    -SAL-75300 75-300mm f/4.5-5.6 Zoom Lens $249
    -SAL-50m28 f/2.8 Macro Lens $479
    -SAL-20F28 20mm f/2.8 Wide-Angle Lens $599
  • Watches. I love watches. Nice ones.
  • Fleshlight. If you don’t know what it is, I highly recommend not looking it up.
  • Anything from the following websites: Thecoolhunter, Gizmodo, oh how the list goes on.

HM: Cash. What says you care more than cash? I suppose 10 other things do. That and I assume gift cards are usually passed around more than cash during the holidays. Nonetheless, if you decide to throw some my way, it will not be frowned upon in any way, shape, or form. The more copious the amount the better. Also, if I acquire enough, I may “earn” a discharge from the military.

previous top 10′s.

November: The greatest month ever, 2nd to Smarch.

0
1 year ago
by Hoho in

November is by far the greatest month ever. I mean, you don’t hear Wyclef rapping about January, or Charlize starring in Sweet August? Of course, knowing you, you need cold hard facts:

  • You get to catch 3 different holiday decorations, making November the most festive month. You catch the end of Halloween, all of thanksgiving, and you get to see the beginning of the Christmas Season, but not too much of it to get sick of it.
  • All the children with birthdays are products of love, as our parents conceived during Valentine’s.
  • The weather is beautiful. It is perfect during the daytime for outdoor activity but not too cold during night.
  • Two words: Daylight savings.
  • Most time off – as there are the most days off in federal holidays, tied with January & December.
  • The greatest shopping deals happen this month, which in turn is also good for the economy.
  • Between this month and the end of October, its the only time in the year where all four major sports (possibly) collide.
The birthplace of Jesus, as you notice its located in Asia.

Jesus was Asian.

1
1 year ago
by Hoho in ,

The birthplace of Jesus, as you notice its located in Asia.

Asian Jesus

Accurate depiction.

Chuck this one up to the list of famous Asians, although you may argue that he is middle eastern, its still in Asia, making Jesus Asian. We’re running short on famous people, whites have Hitler, blacks have Tiger Woods, Africans have Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutombo, so give us Jesus.

I never really understood why all the middle easterners are Muslim, seeing as Jesus and that whole Christianity thing happened pretty close to them. Then again I never really cared to research it anyways. Top six religions:

  1. Christianity: 2.1 billion. 33%
  2. Islam: 1.5 billion. 21%
  3. Secular/Non-religious: 1.1 billion. 16%
  4. Hinduism: 900 million. 14%
  5. Chinese traditional: 400 million. 6%
  6. Buddhism: 375 million. 6%

Then again religion is silly anyways, it really just seems like another reason to judge someone. We already have race for that. Does this mix up the game?

I wonder what Jesus’s last name was? It’s not Christ.

Random number (13) of random ideas: XI.

0
1 year ago
by Hoho in ,

http://www.random.org

  1. They should have game show week, where game show hosts compete on other game shows. Like Alex Trebek on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” or Vanna White on “The Price is (White) Right”.
  2. It’s “okay” to pee in the shower while you’re standing in the shower, but not pee outside of the shower into the shower.
  3. Singing the Popeye theme before drinking your Redbull gives it an extra effect.
  4. Sadly, I think I’m more able to solve a problem in a video game compared to that same problem being applied to me in a real life situation. Think in the terms of using objects around you to build a bridge or something. Haha @ “Oooooooh, virtual yard work”.
  5. If you do a Google image result of “buffalo soldier”, you should really just get a bunch of pictures of minotaurs.
  6. I’d like to see a high speed chase featuring an ice cream truck, being chased by cops, playing the ice cream song really really really fast.
  7. They should spell team, “teiam” to solve problems.
  8. In the NFL, the extra point after a touchdown is scored, should be worth an extra 1 point for every 10 yards out its kicked from the 10 yard line.
  9. While we’re pointlessly changing rules to sports that have been going by tradition for years, the last few minutes of each quarter in a NBA game should count three point shots as four point shots.
  10. The only reason baseball is America’s past time is because basketball wasn’t invented yet.
  11. I’m one of those people who like to stop the microwave at 0:01 if I’m near by it because it makes me feel like I’m defusing a bomb. (I actually don’t like to hear the beep)
  12. Listening to NPR fundraisers is like listening to women argue, all they do is continually mention one thing over and over and over – and no matter what you do or say, they managed to convert what you said to that one thing.
  13. I can’t tell where the line is between brand loyalty and holding a grudge.

Archive of “Random number of random ideas“

mmpr

The dumbest show ever. MMPR rant.

0
1 year ago
by Hoho in ,

For the life of me, I cannot understand why I loved this show as a child. I watched this religiously, and I remember its overnight popularity. Every morning on Fox 5 kids club, I was glued to MMPR, and when it ended my day pretty much sucked throughout school until it came on again in the afternoon.  If you’ve never had the pleasure of watching a show, its ok – because every episode is the exact same, and I will explain to you each and every episode. These guys made millions for a show, that had terrible special effects, every episode the same, and in general is pure garbage. I’m just really bitter. Then again its a kids show, not Bravo.

How every episode goes:

  • Show opens with awesome theme music, downhill from there.
  • The guys upstairs decide to create a monster based off what the power rangers are doing.
  • Putties are summoned and each ranger fights them off in their respective style (after morphing). The black ranger usually defeats one in some sort of break dance battle and it ends up exploding, the pink ranger ends up doing gymanstics – the putty gives up and kills himself, the blue ranger just runs like a pansy until someone who knows how to fight helps him, as for the other three rangers – they actually know… kung-fu. The yellow one being asian, naturally knows kung-fu and the other two may have picked it up at sometime or another.
  • The monster shows up after the putties are defeated, a fight goes on at regular size, and once the Rangers seems to have the upper hand, Rita super sizes the monster.
  • The power rangers then summon their dinosaurs, morph into the ultra supreme awesome super megazord.
  • The giant monster and the Zord fight for awhile, the Zord slowly losing.
  • Zord does power move, monster is destroyed.
  • Rita bitches.
  • Very very very very bad joke to end the show.

Random reasons why the show is stupid:

  • Zordon requests Alpha to find “teenagers with attitude”, so what does Alpha do? He gets 5 kids who are hanging out at a juice bar. Why not get 5 kids from Compton or South Central.
  • The show is racist.
  • The special effects were terrible.
  • Rita’s voice never went with what she was saying.
  • The plot line is hilarious, some lady is trapped for ten thousand years, and the first thing she wants to do when she is out is destroy the nearest planet.
  • This show has more loopholes than a basketball net.
  1. Why doesn’t Rita attack some place other than Angel Grove?
  2. Why don’t the monsters just squash the monster during the 10 minute period their dinosaurs are being summoned?
  3. Why do Bulk and Skull hang out with the Power Rangers if they hated them so much?
  4. Why didn’t Rita just make like 80 monsters?
  5. WHY IS THE THEME SONG SO FLIPPIN CATCHY?

I do wish I had better things to do than bash some kids show.

Random number (24) of random ideas: X.

1
1 year ago
by Hoho in ,

http://www.random.org

  1. They should make water coolers that give updates about celebrities dating when you get water from them.
  2. I can’t believe its not butter should sponsor venues where cover bands are playing.
  3. United blood serves should give you a pint of beer for every pint of blood.
  4. Cereal boxes should put a chapter of a story on or in their box every couple of weeks.
  5. Breakfast in bed is way better than breakfast in chair.
  6. The term baseball bat is rather redundant, there really aren’t any other types of bats. I mean there’s combat, acrobat, and dingbat, but those aren’t really types of bats.
  7. I’m going to carry a padlock around, so that way the next time I see someone with gauged ears, ill strap it on them, sell them the key or combo, profit.
  8. Worst movie idea ever: “Speed 4: Space” (You can piece it together)
  9. I’m surprised there isn’t a book called the Karma Sleeptra featuring different ways to cuddle or sleep.
  10. I’d love to see Elton John shopping for reading glasses at Lenscrafters.
  11. Intentionally the best or unintentionally the worst domain name for a pen shop. http://www.penisland.net/
  12. I’m not entirely sure where to go with this, but the punchline is “Go Go Jason Waterfalls”.
  13. I hate when food goes to waist.
  14. Astonishingly, I’ve yet to see a parody or different variation of Blue Man Group. Instead of changing the color of blue, they should change the people, and appropriately name it “Blue Mayeng Group.”
  15. Since there aren’t many cows in urban areas, people should dress as cows and tip people.
  16. I always hear a lot about breast cancer awareness, which I guess its working. But they’re only really utilizing one of the words associate with a woman’s upper half, and only breast associates with breast cancer. To broaden their spectrum they should use slang terms of breast, allowing them more criteria to build off of. Tit cancer, jugs cancer, gozanga cancer, ect.
  17. They should make a parody movie of Mr. & Mrs. Smith, featuring two flaming homosexuals, appropriately named Mr. & Mr. Smith.
  18. Are all zombie gangsters Crypts? (Booo)
  19. Condoms should be next to baby food in the supermarket.
  20. I wonder how well fortune tellers work if they’re drunk.
  21. I’ll go see a psychic when I read in the paper “Psychic wins lottery”.
  22. John Mayer: “If a man really wanted to get away with cheating on his woman, he’d store his other girls’ name in his phone as “low battery”.”
  23. Why is there so much month left at the end of money?
  24. Two rules for success:
    1. Don’t tell people everything you know.
    2.

Archive of “Random number of random ideas“

#100. A Collection of 5ives: I.

0
2 years ago
by Hoho in

In addition to all the unoriginal segments that I write semi-original content for (semi because in one way or another everything has already been invented on the Internet) I decided to add five top fives every twenty-five posts, cleverly titled “5ives”. Here you have the inaugural set. Unjoy…

TOP 5IVE…

  • uncomfortable situations when no one is around:
  1. When you go poop, sometimes the water splashes back up into your butt and you have no idea how to feel about that.
  2. When you step into an elevator that already smells like fart. Now you’re terrified thinking the next person who walks in will think you’re responsible for the smell.
  3. When you barely trip or slightly roll your ankle while walking on the sidewalk. Even if nobody is around, you still feel like somebody from somewhere saw you trip.
  4. When you pee into the shower, standing outside the shower, because you don’t want to flush the toilet and the water to get super hot.
  5. When the toilet overflows… in a house other than your own.
  • awkward moments at the gas station:
  1. Parking on the wrong side of the gas pump.
  2. Forgetting to check the gas pump number before going inside to pay.
  3. Passing the slightly wet and obnoxiously large bathroom key to a person waiting for it, and knowing their face is expressing “why is this wet?”
  4. Telling the cashier to put the rest on pump #5, who then confirms out loud that you want $3.21 on pump #5, with the hot chick right behind you.
  5. Parking on the wrong side of the gas pump, turning the car around, only to realize  you’ve done it again.
  • euphemisms of dating advice for men on women:
  1. Go ahead. I dare you (don’t do it).
  2. Oh really? Are you that stupid?
  3. Fine. I’m pissed, OR You’re fucked.
  4. Nothing. Everything. An argument that starts with “Nothing,” usually ends with “Fine”.
  5. I want to get to know each other before we have sex. I have herpes.
    Bonus advice: You gotta let her know who’s boss! Look her right in the eye and say, “You’re the boss”
  • euphemisms of dating advice for women on men:
  1. I’m between jobs right now. I’m Broke.
  2. My mother and I are best friends. I live with my mom.
  3. She’s just an old friend. I still talk to my ex.
  4. I love yoga. I suck at sports.
  5. I want to get to know each other before we have sex. I have herpes.
  • signs that you are (you’re) anal retentive (anal-retentive):
  1. You stress when maps and newspapers aren’t folded correctly.
  2. You sort the money in your wallet by large and small bills in the same direction, and spent old and beat up bills first.
  3. You count other people’s grocery items in the 10 items or less lane.
  4. You get every coin in Super Mario Brothers.
  5. If its possible for something to end in a multiple of a number it does. (Volume set to 20, cash out blackjack at 100, ect.)

Other 5ives.

Philosoraptor-if-life-is-a-bitch-Then-wouldnt-the-earth-be-a-kitchen

Top 10: Internet meme characters.

0
2 years ago
by Hoho in

HM. PTSD Clarinet Boy. I don’t know the name of this instrument, only the sound it makes when it kills people.

10: Courage Wolf. Bite off more than you can chew, THEN CHEW IT.

9. Lame Pun Coon. A bicycle can’t stand a lone, it’s two tired.

8: Disruptive Durden. Bury mousetraps in the sand, at the beach.

7: Musically Oblivious 8th Grader. Cake? No thanks, I already ate.

6: Joseph Ducreux. Is Joseph Ducreux going to have to suffocate a wench?

5: High Expectations Asian Father. Why you get B? You not B-sain, You A-sian.

4: Foul Bachelor Frog. Out of clean underwear, time to do laundry.

3: Philosoraptor. Why did the Flinstones have Christmas?

2. Socially Awkward Penguin. Waiter tells you enjoy your meal, you blurt out “you too”

1: Hipster Cat. Everything you liked, I liked 5 years ago.

previous top 10′s.

pandas

Pandas are stupid. Especially pandas.

1
2 years ago
by Hoho in ,

Pandas need to go the way of the dodo.

I love panda bears as much as the next person. Face it, they’re cute – if it were possible, I would probably walk up to one and hug it or even try to ride it. Of course, no one in their right mind would do that with any other bear; you would have to be pretty crazy to approach a polar bear. So, what do we do with these giant, nimble, agile, fast beasts? (who happen to be excellent swimmers and climbers) We make them as cute and harmless as possible, give them to kids, make cartoons of them, and once a year we package a heart, chocolates, flowers, and mylar balloons with them and give them to women hoping to get in their pants. That, however, is not what this post is about. So pandas – all other bears are pretty much omnivorous, except polar bears, which eat cute animals and snow cones. Pandas eat plants, but not any plants. Just one. That’s right, this animal is so stupid it only knows how to eat bamboo. The only food they can eat, they can’t even digest properly, nor do they get the proper nutrition from it, and because of this they have to eat a lot of it, roughly 20 to 30 pounds, and that takes 9 hours. When they’re not eating, they’re trying to be lazy, or sleeping. Luckily, they don’t really have any predators other than humans, the only species dumb enough to harm retards – they may be able to fend for themselves in nature, only because they are too fat to run away. Maybe it is because they have the greatest camouflage system ever, one that hides them very well in jungles and forests (sarcasm). Their camouflage has evolved to that of a black and white bulls-eye pattern scattered throughout their body. Panda’s are in fact so lazy, they don’t go to the effort of finding a mate, so breeding among them is not very common. In the rare instance they do intercourse each other, it only lasts 30 seconds. Granted the panda gets pregnant, half the time the panda will give birth to twins, but the panda can only look after one of them, leaving the other to die. Also, when a panda first gives birth it often doesn’t recognize the screaming infant and may kill it, or the mother just may reject it at will. Their poor diet also leads to pink malnutritioned rat-like offspring. Did it ever dawn on anyone that they are endangered for a reason? I don’t understand the need to save something just because it is on a special list. If we saved every stupid creature on the world, we would have birds that fly into each other, and really nice buffets. Who knows: maybe pandas ate dodo, passenger pigeons, and other extinct animals. That’s Darwinism for you. Pandas have no impact on the food chain. I don’t understand the fascination behind them anyways, other than the fact they’re incredibly cute. When I go to the zoo, I want to see animals do something interesting, which most animals manage to do at least slightly. Foraging for ants? Interesting. Pacing around their enclosure looking mean and intimidating? Interesting. Sniffing things? Not world-shattering, but it’s something. Pandas? Mind-numbingly boring. Hundreds of millions are spent on an animals that is slowly committing suicide, whereas that money could be spent on useful species, or rainforest space, something.

To recap:

  • Pandas seem approachable, unlike every other bear. They probably aren’t either, seeing as they have a moat and a cage at zoos.
  • Pandas only eat bamboo. A food they can’t digest properly and doesn’t give proper nutrition.
  • Pandas are by nature lazy, purposefully avoiding inclines and sleeping more than half their life.
  • Pointless camouflage system.
  • Bad at reproducing – You’d think they learn a little something about reproducing being in China and all.
  • They have no impact on the food chain, we’re not experiencing a bamboo infestation.
  • Absurd amounts of money are spent on a species trying to, by nature, kill themselves off.

My solution: Let them give a slight balance to the class system. Let the poor hunt the remainder of existing Panda’s, and since they are so scarce and rare, their furs and meat can be sold at either ridiculously high fixed rates or an auction system. Lets face it, anything panda-related would be limited edition; limited edition being some stupid word that makes enthusiasts and collectors spend copious amounts of money. There are people out there who want to be the only person who had a panda burger, or if you can live with the guilt; a stuffed panda, mounted panda head, or even a panda bear rug. Or we can train passenger pandas (like the passenger pigeon), to send messages back and forth between armies. Of course they wouldn’t be shot by anyone, but since they are lazy, they would die on their own accord, for a good cause, as all wars are for a good cause. Hopefully if pandas go away, so will Panda Express; that place is awful. That is what this is all really about anyways.

Musically unimportant. 10,000 songs worth of statistics.

1
2 years ago
by Hoho in ,

Here’s a bunch of random statistics from having 10,000+ songs on an iTunes playlist.

  • 10,182. Total number of songs.
  • 1981. Oldest Album: Rush – Moving Pictures. Newest Album: Gorillaz – Plastic Beach.
  • 1240. Days dated back from the time I started this specific collection of music.
  • 990. Different Artists.
  • 682. Albums.
  • 549. Number of songs that have never been played.
  • 288. Songs containing love in the title.
  • 270. Days amassed putting this “collection together”.
  • 59.76. Gigs of music.
  • 58. Songs with a rating of 4 stars.
  • 52. Songs either named intro, or containing the word intro in them.
  • 47. Most played song, Simian Mobile Disco – I Believe.
  • 28.3 (679.2 hours). Days of music.
  • 27. Songs containing fuck in the title.
  • 19. Times of the most played album. Minstry of Sound – Chilled 1991-2008. (granted a lot of it was just played overnight while I was sleeping and felt like hitting mute instead of pause.
  • 12:15. Time in minutes of the longest track(that plays throughout). Gorillaz – Dare (DFA)
  • 11. Most albums by the same artist, Depeche Mode.
  • 9. Soundtracks.
  • 5. Songs with a rating of 5 stars.
  • 1. People who probably give 2 shits about this list.
  • 0. Dollars spent.

20 songs played at random:

  • The Knife – You Make Me Like Charity
  • Gorillaz – Rockit
  • Westlife – Home
  • Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody
  • DJ Shadow – Six Days (Soulwax Remix)
  • Justice – Tthhee Ppaarrttyy
  • Tears for Fears – Mad World
  • Bun B – Underground Thang
  • Eminem – Hallie’s Song
  • Jimmy Eat World – Get it Faster
  • The Shins – New Slang
  • Vanilla Ice – Ice Ice Baby
  • Dune – Dark Side of the Moon
  • Daft Punk – Aerodyanmic
  • Coolio – Gangsta’s Paradise
  • The Prodigy – Invaders Must Die
  • Daft Punk – Da Funk
  • Imogen Heap – Hide and Seek
  • The Ting Tings – Be the One
  • Garbage – Cherry Lips (Go Baby Go)
1

Top 10: Most Quotable Movies.

1
2 years ago
by Hoho in

10. Dumb and Dumber
9. The Big Lebowski

8. Hook
7. Fight Club

6. Office Space
5. Grandma’s Boy

4. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
3. Super Troopers

2. Anchorman
1. Zoolander

previous top 10′s.

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