Enumerated

I tend to think in terms of categorization, its easy to read, gives suspense to your element, amplifies humor, and I’m lazy.

Happy geek pride day!

0
9 months ago
by Hoho in

Copypasta from Wikipedia.

Basic rights and responsibilities of geeks:

A manifesto was created to celebrate the first Geek Pride Day which included the following list of basic rights and responsibilities of geeks.

Rights:

  1. The right to be even geekier.
  2. The right to not leave your house.
  3. The right to not like football or any other sport.
  4. The right to associate with other nerds.
  5. The right to have few friends (or none at all).
  6. The right to have as many geeky friends as you want.
  7. The right to be out of style.
  8. The right to be overweight and near-sighted.
  9. The right to show off your geekiness.
  10. The right to take over the world.

Responsibilities:

  1. Be a geek, no matter what.
  2. Try to be nerdier than anyone else.
  3. If there is a discussion about something geeky, you must give your opinion.
  4. To save and protect all geeky material.
  5. Do everything you can to show off geeky stuff as a “museum of geekiness.”
  6. Don’t be a generalized geek. You must specialize in something.
  7. Attend every nerdy movie on opening night and buy every geeky book before anyone else.
  8. Wait in line on every opening night. If you can go in costume or at least with a related T-shirt, all the better.
  9. Don’t waste your time on anything not related to geekdom.
  10. Try to take over the world!

#175: A Collection of 5ives: IV.

0
9 months ago
by Hoho in

TOP 5IVE…

  • love/hate relationships:
  1. America / Americans.
  2. Learning / Studying.
  3. Having to myself / Feeling lonely.
  4. Science / Scientology,
  5. Animals / P.E.T.A.
  • ways adults are children:
  1. Collecting comic books has been replaced by collecting paychecks.
  2. Reading, writing, and republicans.
  3. Sunday morning is the new Saturday morning.
  4. You’re probably worse at playing house.
  5. Worry about catching that hail Mary is now worry about catching an STD.
  • asshole things you can do in Wal-Mart:
  1. Take the fishing worms and dump them in the produce section.
  2. Putting a goldfish in the puffer tank.
  3. Discreetly set boxes of condoms and tampons in people’s carts while they are looking / Blatantly set bars of deodorant in people’s carts.
  4. Continually adding items from the impulse section in the 20 items or less isle.
  5. Set alarms clocks off in 10 minute intervals.
  • ways to mention how cool you are: (I’m cooler than…)
  1. A penguin colony.
  2. Polar bears fucking.
  3. Freezing time.
  4. The other side of the pillow.
  5. Sub Zero.
  • awesome international fictional sport team names: (Stolen from Car Talk)
  1. Manila Folders
  2. Taipei Personalities
  3. Czech Bouncers
  4. Brussels Sprouts
  5. Belgium Waffles

Other 5ives.

Specialty_And_Military_Care_Packages=Treats-For_Troopers=SKU_819102

The care package list (revised).

0
9 months ago
by Hoho in , , ,

For your sake, I’ve made a printable/mobile shopping list for you, to avoid reading all the awesome wit I’ve written below.

Mans necessity for destruction and power at its pinnacle lies war. There are many elements that compose war: weaponry, personnel, tactics, equipment, ect.; the list goes on, but there is no more important element to war than care packages. Granted, the former statement, a strictly fictional one, for your sake and mine, we will consider it absolute truth, and with that being said – I have made a very simple way you can contribute to the war, but more importantly, my morale, general well-being, and your sense of satisfaction. While you may think its okay to send me illicit drugs and pornography, I assure you its a little more complex than that, but first and foremost here is where you shall be mailing your tax write off* to:

Michael “Hoho” Hogan
313th JMCB
APO, AE 09354


*Not a legitimate tax write off

1. Fresh baked cookies: Cookies are as good as currency out here, maybe even better. You can get currency anywhere around here if you really wanted to. From the finance building, AAFES, the local vendors, or even someone in a very deep sleep, however you cannot get fresh baked cookies, mainly due to the lack of ingredients and readily available ovens. As far as possessing cookies, they rank quite high on the barter market, but there is much greater delight to eat your love and efforts. Please no peanut butter, even though I’m not allergic to them, to not sound like an asshole, I’ll just say that I am.

2. Asian Snacks: This is a very broad and vague category, don’t let that deter you. Its very easy, you go into an Asian market, and if its a snack you happily toot it and boot it (buy it and ship it). I was going to make this to the melody of the Sound of Music, but I’m sure I failed at it, since I’m not incredibly familiar with the tune, and Asian words confuse me, syllable wise. Here are a few of my favorite things (asian snack remix version):

Tasty dried mangoes and also dried seaweed,
Nagayara nuts are delicious indeed,
Lychee jellies in the large multi-packs,
These are my favorite asian-y snacks.

Meiji Yan Yan, Pocky, and Hello Panda,
Wasabi peas, shrimp chips, and candy-soda,
Various fruit gummies in different sacks,
These are my favorite asian-y snacks.

When I’m lonely,
Or quite hungry,
Or getting shot at,
I take a bite into my favorite snack,
and then I get a little fat.

3. Mixed Nuts: This is rather self-explanatory, so I’ll save you the jibber-jabber and get to the nitty-gritty. Cashews, almonds, Macadamia nuts, and walnuts are my favorite nuts. To justify the fact that I don’t really like peanuts, peanuts are actually a legume and don’t fit the category, but to ride along with the whole beggars cant be choosers philosophy, I’m satisfied with the fact you’re thinking of me. Roasted, salted, plain, raw, or smoked, they’re all fine to me, however, I lean a little towards the raw side. I thought of making a 2nd top ten list, but that would just be too much for you, a flow chart would be better, but far too time consuming. Oh, pistachios are grand too. Smokehouse almonds are my favorite.

4. Ramen: This is extremely self explanatory. Inexplicably the cheapest, hottest meal one can get – its without a doubt one of the most convenient things to have in a very close vicinity. As far as ramen or any form of instant noodles go, non-Maruchan or non-Nissin is perfect. As far as they type, they’re all delectable, be it Yakisoba, rice noodles, ramen, Korean, Japanese, even kiddie Pokemon stuff, sky’s the limit. Spicy is my favorite flavor. Surprise me! Here is a decent example:

5. Caffeine: Most notably, tea. Whole leaf if possible. Those pyramid bags are tasty too, but if you get those, get them for yourself, they’re that good. I don’t drink soda, those flavored water things taste like cancer, and frankly water gets tiring after awhile, luckily I drink tea, beyond religiously. Since I’ve been here, I came to the realization that coffee is the greatest thing in the world, and have become dependent on it. I’m not to the baller status where I can drink it black, but I am trying to cut sugar out of my diet, so cream will do. Also I don’t have a grinder out here, so you will have to send me grounds.

6. The 3 S’s: Seasonings, spices, and sauces. I have the same breakfast daily, the lunch menu on a three day rotation, and the dinner menu on the same seven day rotation. Needless to say, the lack of variety gets to be a bit cumbersome. Luckily there is a fortune mathematical equation out there. X + Hot sauce = hot sauce, X representing any type of food.
-Any hot sauce will suffice, the favorites are always good, however Tabasco is bountiful out here.
-Premixed seasonings do well, Ms. Dash, Emeril’s ect.
-Any specialty mustard and anything garlic (minced/salt/ect.)

7. Hygiene & Miscellany: : Due to my marketing behavior I have become very loyal to branding. The PX out here is is less than suitable, and rarely even lacks the bare essentials for hygeine. They never have my soap I use, Dove Face&Body, it’s in a gray box with white lettering and orange accents. Then there is the necessity to shave, which I hate. I have an eletric, however I don’t have the braun clean and renew cleaning refills. The other shaving alternative, Gilette Fusion will suffice just well.

8. American Snacks: I figure if I’m going to “defend” a country, I may as well indulge in the snacks it has to offer. While they don’t compare to that of a much larger continent that I leave unnamed, I am lazy and love eating. I don’t feel like writing a song, but below are nine awesome snacks. If you get me Chukar Cherries I will love you forever.

9. Not Alcohol: Whatever you do, you must not send me alcohol. Life is here is very bland and un-entertaining, and liquor would only put an end to that. Since you’re not going to send it, then I don’t have to tell you to repackage it into seal-able plastic bottles, preferably Gatorade bottles, and tape them up. The best liquor not to send is anything of the clear variety. There is a time and a place for liquor and the battlefield is not one of them. I will enjoy it when I get back. Also you will not not get in trouble for not sending it, and neither will I. Please please please don’t send me any alcohol whatsoever. 

10. Really frivolous shit: With the upcomingness of my birthday, Christmas, secular and non-secular Holidays, or any other gift giving occasion closing in on us, I can understand the unyielding desire to want to purchase me higher end items, before I have the opportunity to buy them for myself. Normally I would politely decline, but I would hate to deprive you of the pleasure of imaging the look on my face when I open your box across the world.

HM: Cash. What says you care more than cash? I suppose 10 other things do. That and I assume gift cards are usually passed around more than cash during the holidays. Nonetheless, if you decide to throw some my way, it will not be frowned upon in any way, shape, or form. The more copious the amount the better. Also, if I acquire enough, I may “earn” a discharge from the military. If you’ve read this far, or were clever enough to skip to the end, I’ll probably get you something random from my travels upon my return.

5. Ramen: This is extremely self explanatory. Inexplicably the cheapest, hottest meal one can get – its without a doubt one of the most convenient things to have in a very close vicinity. As far as ramen or any form of instant noodles go, non-Maruchan or non-Nissin is perfect. As far as they type, they’re all delectable, be it Yakisoba, rice noodles, ramen, Korean, Japanese, even kiddie Pokemon stuff, sky’s the limit. Surprise me! Here is a decent example:

2009_cloudy_with_a_chance_of_meatballs_046

Top 10: JC’s.

0
10 months ago
by Hoho in

HM. Jesus Christ. Until this person becomes provable beyond a faith based caused. I can only keep him at this position, although he is quite possibly the most familiar. I do enjoy the many variations however.

10 & 9. Joan & John Cusack. I’m lazy, and if I do this, it’s an easy two for one. They are pretty badass however. 

8. Johnny Cash. I don’t care much for him, but I’m sure people would be upset if he didn’t make the list.

7. Jimmy Carter. Again, obligatory.

7. Jim Carrey. At one point in time, this man was my role model. I still admire him, but there are too many other badasses.

5. Jackie Chan. This man single handedly bridged the gap between kung-fu and comedy.

4. John Cleese. This guy is the Godfather of British comedy, or just comedy in general.

3. James Caan.

2. Julius Caesar. Such a badass he has his own salad dressing, took a whole country to do the same. French dressing is only good on sandwiches anywhom.

1. Johnny Carson.

previous top 10′s.

Random number (22) of random ideas: XIII.

2
11 months ago
by Hoho in ,

http://www.random.org

  1. Dankin Donuts: A place to serve pot-filled pastries and other marijuana related delicacies.
  2. Things to make driving slightly more exciting if you’re bored #10: When stopped at a red light, start slowing going in reverse and pretend that the person next to you is going forward and watch him slam on his brakes.
  3. Chef Boyardee was wise in selecting to be a chef for a career. If he ventured on any other career path his name would be pretty ridiculous. Mr. Boyardee, Professor Boyardee, Dr. Boyardee, ect.
  4. Discreet asshole trick #33: Holding the door for someone who is far away, making them have to rush to the door out of “counter-politeness”.
  5. Discreet asshole trick #12: Standing in front of someone in a supermarket isle, looking for something you want that is behind them.
  6. If you ask for the time, and someone points out where a clock is, simply respond, “DID I ASK WHERE A FUCKING CLOCK IS?”
  7. Of course, if someone asks you what time it is, and you want to be a jerk about it, give them a response where math is involved: “half past 6:17″ “quarter til 11:04″ ect.
  8. I wonder if there are pills you can take for being allergic to cotton. Irony ensues.
  9. Then there’s the irony of self-help groups.
  10. “Bunch of pricks” great name for an acupuncture clinic.
  11. It must suck being black and having a tiny penis, at least if you’re Asian you have a stereotype in your favor.
  12. When you don’t drink, people always need to know why. It’s not like that with anything else. You don’t play basketball? Why? You don’t eat cereal? Why?
  13. I can’t wait for the NBA all star game 2055. They’re going to do some crazy shit in space.
  14. The problem with warning alarms, is that everyone associates that sound panic. What they should do is play “Eye of the Tiger” over loudspeaker.
  15. There is the speed of light, and the speed of sound. Is there a speed of smell, and a speed of dark?
  16. I wonder if any super heroes or villains that got their powers from inbreeding.
  17. I’m going to invent a shirt that looks like I’m wearing a bomb vest underneath.
  18. In American stores, there are signs under surveillance cameras saying you are being watched, or smile you’re on camera. I wonder if Russians have signs that say, in Russia, TV watches you!
  19. How stubborn are scientists? Case and point, male seahorses. Some guy made a mistake and was like “that’s the male seahorse” and then it gave birth to a lot of little seahorses, and then scientist B was like “Uhm, that’s the female”, scientist A then fires scientist B.
  20. As far as automated operator services go (press 1 for english, ect.), how come no one ever decided to use the guy who does the announcements for scary movies. I’d totally listen to my choices then, instead of spamming 0.
  21. The Youngbloodz song “mind on my money” should be more appropriately named “Coinfused”
  22. I’m no chemist or anything, but why are there nutrition facts on water? I mean if you’re going to do that you may as well put recipes for things with water, like… Ice.

Archive of “Random number of random ideas“

#150. A collection of 5ives: III.

0
11 months ago
by Hoho in

TOP 5IVE…

  • things that only happen in movies:
  1. If you’re outnumbered in a fight, your enemies will wait (playing imaginary DDR) their turn to attack you.
  2. The lack of airport security when you need to tell someone you love one last thing.
  3. Jumping into a cab and shouting “Follow that car!”. Then paying with a random amount of money you grab out of your pocket is exact change.
  4. Finding a parking spot right outside the building you need to go to.
  5. When hung up, the phone goes to a dial tone.
  • patrons you want to punch in the face as you wait next in line to them:
  1. The first time Redbox customer.
  2. Indecisive bread person at Subway (please don’t ask if they want it toasted)
  3. The side-cutter refill guy at McDonalds.
  4. The customer that is relentless in her pursuit of finding that penny in her purse just so she can get a quarter back instead of 24 cents.
  5. The customer behind you with one little item that wants you to notice so that you’ll let her cut in front of you… never.
  • dumb habits:
  1. Pushing really hard on the remote control when you know the batteries are weak… and then you smack it against the palm of your hand.
  2. When we’re fighting off our hunger at night (or when we’re just too lazy or broke to go out), we tend to walk back and forth to the fridge hoping something new to eat will appear.
  3. Pressing your floor button again and again when the elevator is going really slow. Or rapidly pressing the “close door” button hoping no one else will come in.
  4. Slowly ducking your head while driving a large car into a small ceiling garage.
  5. Make facial expressions while talking on the phone and leaving messages on an answering machine that people never listen to.
  • signs you’re getting old:
  1. You hear your favorite song in the elevator.
  2. Your belly button is between your tits.
  3. You wake up at 5am.
  4. You leave a NBA game early to beat traffic.
  5. It hurts to get in AND out of bed.
  • common embarrassing moments:
  1. Mistaking someone for the wrong gender.
  2. Mistaking someone for being pregnant.
  3. Forgetting someones name that’s the same as yours.
  4. Looking at old pictures with friends and they notice you’re wearing the same shirt.
  5. Slamming an door that cannot be slammed.

Other 5ives.

10kato

Top 10: Sidekicks.

0
11 months ago
by Hoho in

HM: Non-person sidekicks, the T-Mobile and Suzuki sidekick, they’re your sidekicks.

The T-Mobile and Suzuki Sidekick.

10. Kato, sidekick to the Green Hornet. As far as I’m concerned Kato is the show, but thats probably an Asian bias. Not to be confused with Kato Kaelin, who, makes for a awful sidekick.

9. Luigi, sidekick to Mario. Who better to have a sidekick than your own brother, whom you have the same business with. For all I care, Mario needs Luigi, seeing as he’s taller and skinnier.
8. Stimpson “Stimpy” J. Cat, sidekick to Ren. Happy happy joy joy.

Luigi and Stimpy

7. Watson, sidekick to Sherlock Holmes. Probably one of the few books I’ve read, this is the original bromance.
6. Garth, sidekick to Wayne. When you’re Wayne & Garth, you’re essentially built for another.

Watson and Garth

5. Chewbacca, sidekick to Han Solo. It’s like man’s best friend and he can shoot a gun, and for some reason you can understand everything he says.

Chewbacca from Star Wars.

4. Penny & Brain, sidekicks to Inspector Gadget. One of my favorite shows growing up as a child, and here’s why it was so genius. You have an state of the art cyborg machine, who for the most part is an idiot. A equally technologically efficient niece, and a dog that was so good at being covert that Inspector Gadget could often not tell the difference. Cartoons were so much better back in my time.

Penny and Brain from Inspector Gadget.

3. Ed McMahon, sidekick to Johnny Carson. If there were a top 10 for late night talk shows, this would make the top. The best televised dynamic duo.

2. Cameron Frye, sidekick to Ferris Bueller. Although Ferris Bueller is quite the badass, he couldn’t have pulled any of that off if it weren’t for his trusty accomplice, who in the Movie develops a lot more than Ferris.

Cameron Frye from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

1. Thing, sidekick to Gomez Addams. This is hands down (pun intended) the coolest sidekick of them all, all for a mere hand. Always quite the helping hand, one hell of a worker, and gives a hell of a back rub. Frankly isn’t he everyone’s sidekick when we’re feeling a little lonely?

Thing from the Adams family.previous top 10′s.

Ubiquitous Facebook logo.

Another Facebook dislike list.

1
11 months ago
by Hoho in ,

Ubiquitous Facebook logo.It’s something we needed as consumers, friends, brothers, sisters, colleagues, retailers, and just people in general. It’s bridged the gap of marketing, identifying needs and likes of consumers with detailed demographics. It’s rekindled old and new friendships alike, and made new technology obsolete. It’s erased the anonymity of the internet, hiding the need to become whoever we want behind a screen, and our identity of anonymity. It’s great.

I’m not really sure how I’m going to transgress into this, but here’s a giant list of people who annoy the piss out of me, and if you’re a multiple offender, we probably weren’t friends to begin with.

(Top 20)

People who…

  1. continuously post non-stop about stupid shit they are doing. We all get headaches, I don’t care how often you go to the gym, and I especially don’t care about how great your nap was. Sorry if I don’t find brushing your teeth newsworthy on my newsfeed, get over yourself.
  2. complain non-stop. I understand you need to vent once in awhile, and maybe get some encouragement from whomever, but if you looking for attention, get it from some anti-depressants or a therapist. If you’ve never eaten a hot meal, then join the three Billion+ people in the world who don’t even have the opportunity to complain about their printer not working, or that the waiter messed up their order.
  3. are meteorologists. You don’t work for News 12 and your relative opinion about the weather doesn’t constitute as news. If you live in the same city, I can look out my window or open a door. You don’t need to complain about how hot is it, or that you hate/love the rain. If you don’t live in the same city as me, I frankly don’t give a shit if your snow is green and smells like donuts. While I appreciate the fact you’re not talking about celebrities, the weather isn’t much of an improvement.
  4. check-in to their homes. Are you expecting us to come by your house to surprise you?
  5. tell me what to copy and paste into my status. Fuck you. You are a tool. You do not tell me what’s on my mind, if you happen to say something so profound or enlightening then I might steal it on my own accord.
  6. people who continually copy and paste anything. Like those text characters that spell out pictures or giant words. Frequent visitor of “funny status updates”? Are you that desperate for attention you can’t figure out something original to say just so you can get a slight amount of praise? Go back to Myspace, or your moms teet.
  7. friend everybody. There are legitimate collections, like TMNT propaganda or shot glasses, not people. Way to cater to your narcissism. I don’t understand why you need a website to tell me how many people you’ve met in life.
  8. are wildly uninteresting and painfully unfunny yet have a lot more friends than I do. Of course this is much worse outside of Facebook.
  9. don’t have any regard for proper English. Much like your English final, spelling and grammar do count. Regardless of how grate you’re day was, you look like an idiot. Spanish doesn’t help your cause either.
  10. think “LOL!” counts as quality feedback.
  11. post song lyrics. (See 6)
  12. post happy messages in the morning. “Happy Tuesday everybody!”
  13. share party photos with people who weren’t invited to the party.
  14. post personal messages publicly (“Great seeing you last night!”)
  15. use #symbols that were clearly intended for other @websites.
  16. ignore my updates.
  17. complain about Facebook changes. (See 2)
  18. post incredibly ambiguous statuses in hope to get people to respond with “OMG [insert question about status]“
  19. I am clearly superior but who think I should make the first friending move
  20. People who think they’re the first ones to say, “I wish FB had a dislike button.”, and now “I wish FB had a “that’s what she said” button”.
tel-aviv-100-logo-image

Hundred day mark.

0
12 months ago
by Hoho in , ,

top 100

Today is a special day. Well, actually it isn’t. It is just like every other day, and to prove this point I actually wrote this a couple weeks before I posted it. While it holds very little significance or value, it has provided an occasion for me to write a article that is far too much reading to be interesting, better known as a top 100 list. I present to you the top hundred list of things I miss.

  1. friends & family
  2. the doorway
  3. logic / reason
  4. freedom / liberty
  5. variety / choice
  6. sex
  7. real food
  8. unrestricted high speed internet
  9. home
  10. days off
  11. “peers”
  12. intelligent conversation
  13. competition
  14. consistency
  15. personal space
  16. convenience
  17. indoor plumbing
  18. drinking / beer / Putters
  19. NPR
  20. attractive people
  21. restaurants
  22. Sundays
  23. venues / movies
  24. working on random projects / experiments
  25. smartphones / Words with Friends
  26. basketball / team sports
  27. art
  28. board games / spades
  29. queen sized+ beds
  30. cooking
  31. travelling / road trips (with minimal chance of death)
  32. golf / bowling
  33. sanitation / not fucking dust everywhere
  34. clothing
  35. driving
  36. grass
  37. pavement / not walking on rocks
  38. supermarkets / shopping
  39. getting high
  40. animals
  41. not having to carry a gun everywhere
  42. my desk setup
  43. California
  44. Washington
  45. personal space
  46. school (granted I’m going online)
  47. blasting music
  48. SCII
  49. gambling
  50. …. Wal-Mart

blegh. Half assed is the American way, unless you want to read fifty different types of food. Even shit I hate, I miss. Traffic lights and nemeses-es alike.

procrastination

Top 10: The Afghanistan goals list.

0
1 year ago
by Hoho in , ,

I’m a firm believer in under promise and over deliver, it’s an eloquent way of saying “aim low” (thus to not disappoint yourself in the future yet be pleasantly surprised). However, in this case, I have an entire year to “fix” my self-discrepancy theory, so to really aim high and set a lot of goals, seems fitting. If I nail it, perfect – I set out what I wanted to do, under complicating conditions. If I come relatively close, great – I’m well justified and it’s progress. If I’m not even close at all, amazing – I’ll realize I’m a failure, and carry out my days getting a low paying job, masturbating frequently, and completely engulf myself in a MMO until I die, completely stress free. Here goes nothing:

  1. For someone who loves traveling, I certainly don’t do enough of it. I’ll accredit a lot of my passion for travel to my father, for taking me across the States as a child, which I’m very thankful for. While the world may lie explored, there’s not enough you know about yourself until you know what you’re missing out on. Of all the culture, character, and fun that comes from traveling, I can’t comprehend how traveling can be disliked. All that said, I’m finally making a trip down to Europe for R&R, and while its for only a couple weeks, I’m quite possibly looking more forward to that returning home. And yes, I plan to travel throughout Afghanistan as little as possible.
  2. In order to make the following goals a hell of a lot easier to accomplish, I have to stop doing one thing that’s screwed me more times than a newlywed, in addition to probably shaving years off my lifespan. Procrastination. It’s great isn’t it? Why do what you can do today that you can put off until tomorrow? For the two aforementioned reasons, I really have to stop. I’ve screwed myself out of great opportunities and money putting things off far too long, not to mention I’ve dealt with that stress the entire time. To top it off, I normally don’t even get the things done that I put off.
  3. I’ve been in college far too long, and really don’t have a whole lot to show for it other than a bunch of scattered college courses. Luckily I’ve found the closest thing I can gauge to a calling in life, and plan to run into it head first. I’m aiming for 30 credit hours, 36 would be ideal, and anything more than that is beyond perfect. I’ll settle for 24, but I’ve only been in Afghanistan for a little less than a week now, and my job may be subjective to change, however if it isn’t. Class will go by quite smoothly, it most likely regardless of a job change or not. Plus I really really need to keep my wits my sharp because this job is ultra monotonous.
  4. Because of the severe effects and symptoms that are carried with extra weight, it would behoove me to lose all that’s unneeded. Other than general unattractiveness, I’m very much cutting my life short with silent killers, most notably high blood pressure; not to mention the general implications of ailments that transpire. I am going to take this approach very slowly and methodically. I plan on exercising semi-regularly, but more importantly keeping a good eye on what I eat and how many calories I burn a day. Of course I’ll log as much as I can, to help share and post results and analyze where I went wrong/right.
  5. A thumbnail of a drawing.I loved drawing. At one point in time, I drew nearly everyday, and was damn good. Then 8th grade happened, and some bitch of a teacher who I hate nearly turned me off from drawing completely; said c-word really shouldn’t be in the hands of molding our youth. Nonetheless, whatever talents I managed to retain and hone, I consider my artistic skills and creativity in the top ten percentile of the world. Nonetheless I plan to have roughly 40 or so drawings done. I was going to try to fill a book up, but that’s just absurd. 1 a week should suffice.
  6. No smoking ashtray.This is the only one on the list that doesn’t take up time, it in fact does the complete opposite, its not a whole lot of time, but its honestly social time, which is incredibly needed in my scenario. I’ve most likely been smoking roughly for 18 or so months, and not that heavily either; relatively, whatever three to seven a day is. I’ve been meaning to quit, but funny story, so I accidentally smoked somewhere I wasn’t supposed to, twice. My commander, a firm believer in the “punishment should fit the crime”, made me do a PowerPoint on the dangers of smoking and then present it to the unit. I’m sure picking up cigarette butts would have been just as fitting, but this is for all the better. Nonetheless, I found out more than I wanted to about smoking, and that some of it wasn’t irreversible, and that it can be the cause of.. uh.. other problems. Nonetheless I decided to quit the instant I arrived in theater, and from what everyone tells me its nearly impossible, so I’ll severely cut back, never smoking more than one whole cigarette a day, and for sure cold turkey upon return. edit: Not doing good, I’ll see how things go in a month, I really don’t want to have to turn to aides.
  7. Half the time, its an exciting hobby, half the time it’s a droll chore, half the time it’s a fraction of my life I just don’t have time for. Thus the reasons I have updates only half the year. You can guess what kind of mood I’m in at the moment.
  8. Organization. Because of my one track mind, and terribly afflicted OCD-ness from which I accredit to the military, I have a lot of organizing I need to do. This is incredibly vague and spans across a lot of genres, from my stupid computer files (music, movies, ect.) to hundreds of scattered papers, finances, and other small things here and there.
  9. Even more reading and writing. In addition to all the classes I’m taking, and this stupid-ass website. I’d like to try to get some books under my belt, in addition to all the internet reading I do. There’s that gentle allure of being well read. As far as writing is concerned, I plan to hand write all my letters as form to communication to the States. A lot of people ask me why, and suggest Email and Skype as if those options were new concepts to me. Other than being novel and sentimental, its just plain ol’ nice to receive hand-written paper mail.
  10. Lets not forget all the small things:The smaller but hefty to do list.

previous top 10′s.

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Top 10: Cereal mascots.

0
1 year ago
by Hoho in

Apple & Cinna-Man comic strip.HM: Apple Cinnamon Cheerios: Apple and Cinna-man. I had chosen this to be my #1, but I could not find anything of them other than the image below. I’m not sure why I even like them, but since they are discontinued they only make for an honorable mention. I have a few vague memories of them, and even though I don’t ever remember eating that cereal (apple cinnamon cheerios), I remember having a flip-book of them that I was absolutely fascinated with.

10. Trix: Trix Rabbit. This rabbit is cracked out. Plus I thought it would be fitting to have him be in the same spot on a 2nd list. I never understood the correlation between catchphrases and kids cereal, but he doesn’t even say his. While he’s hard-headed beyond belief, I do admire his persistence. I wonder what happens if you DO feed a rabbit Trix.

Old Trix and new Trix rabbit comparison.

9. Corn Flakes: Cornelius. Minimalistic, symbolic, awesomic.
8. Boo Berry: Boo Berry. I only know of this guy due to searching, as I’ve never even heard of this guy, but the dude looks incredibly cool stoned. Reinforces the pothead / kid cereal correlation.
7. Corn Flakes: Sunny. Two scoops of awesome. Even earned a spot on Family Guy.

Three iconic cereal mascots

6. Rice Crispies: Snap Crackle Pop. On top of Rice Crispy treats, we’ve also been bestowed with women as dressing up as these guys for Halloween. Not to mention a reference when someone breaks a bone or tears a ligament.

Snap Crackle Pop Threesome

5. Lucky Charms: Lucky. “They’re always trying to steal me lucky charms,” Why does everyone laugh when I say that? Classic.
4. Honey Nut Cheerios: Buzz. This guy is reverse Abraham Licoln, do an image search of him and you will always find one of him smiling. Maybe its the Honey Nut Cheerios, or maybe its morphine, who knows.
3. Count Chocula: Count Chocula. 1) Cool title. 2) Alliterative name. 3) A vampire, this guy would have been #1, but Edward Cullen kind of ruined the whole vampire category.

2. Captain Crunch: Captain Crunch. You and the Captain DO make it happen. However we can accredit the Captain’s placement due to this:

AJ, Hoho, some random dude as Pop, Captain Crunch, and Count Chocula for Halloween.(Me as Captain Crunch, AJ as Pop, and the actual Count Chocula)

1. Frosted Flakes: Tony the Tiger. Behold a top ten list within a top ten list. You’re welcome.

  1. Is actually recognizing himself as #1.
  2. Greatest catchphrase ever.
  3. Has his own shoe.
  4. Cereal is tasty.
  5. If there were a top ten list for tigers. He would be on the top of that.
  6. “Eye of the Tiger” is actually a tribute song to this great fellow.
  7. Some people have a bigger hard-on for him that I do. Prime example.
  8. American Icon, even though he’s Italian.
  9. Triple alliterative.
  10. Is a flippin’ tiger.

previous top 10′s.

#125: A collection of 5ives: II.

0
1 year ago
by Hoho in

TOP 5IVE…

  • times you look both ways:
  1. Crossing the street, even if its one-way.
  2. Tell a black joke.
  3. Screen a friends call in public.
  4. Take free things home. (A handful of ketchup packets from Jack in the Box, Splendas from Starbucks)
  5. After using the urinal, to determine whether or not you have to wash your hands.
  • small inconveniences that make life irritating:
  1. Hearing your pulse when you’re comfortably trying to sleep.
  2. Going to dinner with someone who doesn’t care where we eat, and in addition to not making any suggestions on where to eat, he says no to every one of yours.
  3. Using a shopping cart with a broken wheel.
  4. Putting up with a phone that you have to work around some major problem with it. “5″ key doesn’t work, broken trackball, ect.
  5. That annoying ass track on CD’s that are 14 minutes long, but are two songs with 6 minutes of silence between them.
  • things more likely to happen to you than winning the lottery:
  1. Getting killed in a car accident on the way to purchase your lottery ticket.
  2. Being struck by lightning.
  3. Being struck twice by lightning.
  4. Die in your bathtub.
  5. Almost anything.
  • signs that you’re lazy:
  1. You use disposable cups to avoid doing dishes, even worse you try to eat cereal out of a baking tray with a spatula.
  2. You purchase new clothing in lieu of doing laundry.
  3. You will try anything to get the remote that is not that far away from the couch, as long as it does not involve getting off the couch.
  4. You type with one hand because you’re ridiculously comfortable.
  5. You cut your top ten lists in half.
  • dumb things people don’t say anymore (thankfully).
  1. Sike! (Psych?)
  2. No Shit Sherlock
  3. Shiznits
  4. All that and a bag of chips.
  5. Talk to the hand.

Other 5ives.

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