About

About the website:

In the late nineties, when the internet was still fledging, social networking was limited to instant messaging and email, and bandwidth was a commodity – the internet had called to me. Originally starting out as a place to upload really stupid drawings done in paint, it later evolved to a series of personal blogs scattered throughout various tripod sites. After realizing that writing about myself was rather drab, I decided to indulge my passion of making other people laugh and maybe be a little helpful at times sharing my experience and lop-sided uneducated opinions. As you can see it’s just been going severely downhill since.

R.A.Q. (Rarely Asked Questions):

What kind of mask would you wear if you were robbing a bank?

 I think I would just get a really good makeup job that makes me look really old, like in Jackass. No one is going to suspect an agile elderly person robbing a bank.

What is the best piece of advice you ever heard?

It’s a toss up between “This too shall pass” and “Live every week like it’s Shark Week”

If you could be on any game show past or present what would it be?

If I needed the money it would probably be the Price is Right, but regardless I would probably go on Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, or Legends of the Hidden Temple.

If you could fight any celebrity who it would it be and why?

Probably Chuck Norris, granted I’d probably lose, if I beat him up I’d be some sort of legend.

Have people actually asked you these questions?

No.

Shouldn’t it be N.A.Q. then?

Fuck off.

Yours truly:

Between the amount of crap on my website and these stupid facts that should determine everything you need to know about me. As for what I look like…

50 random ass facts:

1. I’m a huge organizational freak, at very minimum, I’ll try to alphabetize or organize things accordingly.
2. As far back as I can remember, I loved to draw and was always the artist of my grade school classes.
3. The most valuable thing I won was a “Creative Nomad Jukebox” by spinning a wheel at CES in 2001. I think it retailed for 500. I ended up trading it for a couch and a hundred bucks.
4. My first job gave me a hernia at the age of 15.
5. I’ve had my tonsils removed.
6. I tend to quote the Simpsons out of the blue.
7. I have served in both OEF and OIF.
8. I tend to pay in exact change, and when paying with credit card I always round change up (or down) on food.
9. My greatest accomplishment in sports history has nothing at all to do with athleticism, which topped out my 51 second 400m.
10. As of Aug 13 2011 I have one tattoo, but I plan on at least two more.
11. I legitimately believe I can be a hand model, just can’t find the hand jo-… eh.
12. I collect beer glasses, 16oz pub glasses to be exact. So if you can’t find anything to buy me…
13. I also have a watch and shoe fetish, although I don’t let it eat my accounts up. A nice splurge for celebration or therapy at appropriate times.
17. Bills in my wallet always have to face the same direction and must be in order from least to greatest.