#1, “Original rule of thumb”: You may beat your wife with an object no wider than your thumb.

#2, “Greeting rule of two”: When walking towards someone and you make eye contact twice, you must make a greeting.

#3, “Rule of threes”: You must offer a gift to someone three times so they can properly turn it down. Also, if there is a debate for paying a dinner bill, person a will offer to pay, person b will counter-offer, person a will offer again, person b must let person a pay.

#6, “Rule of freebies”: Never complain about something free.

#9, “Public rule of Music”: Never play more than 3 songs by the same artist in a row.

#12, “Rule of stealing”: You cannot steal something stolen. An item may only be stolen once.

#13, “The other rule of tipping”: Never tip with coins that have touched you. If your change is $1.50, you can tell the waitress to keep the change, but once she has handed it to you, you cannot give it back.

#19, “College rule of shopping”: A college student at a supermarket is only allowed to buy as many items that can fit in 2 arms.

#29, “Rule of thumb(drive)”: When plugging in a USB device or a thumbdrive you will either stick it in the wrong side or stick in the right side incorrectly, then the wrong side, then the right side correctly.

#36, “Driving rule of camera”: Always keep a camera in your car, just incase. Because there are way to man women drivers.

#49, “Offering rule of foods”: You are opted to ask if anyone would like the following foods when eaten in public: Beef jerky, sunflower seeds, chewing gum, chocolate, and candy.

#203, “Drinking rule of traffic”: Anyone with three or more drinks in his hands has the right of way.

#204, “Drinking rule of Work”: There’s nothing wrong with drinking before noon. Especially if you’re supposed to be at work.

#205, “Drunkards rule of Gifting”: If you bring booze to a party, you must drink it or leave it.

#206, “Drunkards rule of Ghosting”: It’s acceptable, traditional in fact, to disappear during a night of hard drinking. You will appear mysterious and your friends will understand. If they even notice.

#207, “Drunkards rule of Milwaukee”: If you bring Old Milwaukee to a party, you must drink at least two cans before you start drinking the imported beer in the fridge.

#208, “Drunkards rule of Drunking”: You must try a new drink every week.

#209, “Drunkards rule of Sporting”: If you are broke and a friend is “sporting you”, you must laugh at all his jokes and play wingman when he makes his move.

#210, “Drunkards rule of Whos”: If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.

#211, “Drunkards rule of Toasting”: You must toast before every shot, whoever buys the drink has the first chance to toast, and no toast may be repeated.

#212, “Drunkards rule of fighting”: For every drink you have there is a 5% chance you will get in a fight. There is also a 3% chance you will lose that fight.

#1267, “Male rule of bathroom”: A man may never talk to someone in the restroom unless doing the same thing — urinating, waiting in line or washing your hands.

#1268, “Male rule of umbrella”: Under no circumstance may 2 men be under the same umbrella.