Sexist
Hiatus II: Double disappointment.
Jun 30th
Yes, a second hiatus. Expect new posts in November. Between Starcraft II, 3 weeks of marksmanship training, and a whole lot of friends hanging out to do, I don’t have a whole lot of time for the website.
Rosie Jones should be enough for you to enjoy for the time being.
Marry Boff Kill: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Amy Jo Johnson, Machiko Soga, Thuy Trang
Jun 3rd
Marry: Barbara Goodson (Rita Repulsa) – First of all this bitch lives on the moon! The moon! No pesky neighbors, no crime rate, ect. Second of all she has a person on her staff who just makes people, everyday. Thats endless possibilities right there. Then she can make things grow, I would make her grow some gold bars I bought and boom! Super rich! She does have a super annoying voice however, but thats not really her voice. Go figure.
Boff: Amy Jo Johnson (Pink Ranger) – Nothing like your childhood crush.
Kill: Thuy Trang (Yellow Ranger) – Sadly Thuy died in a car crash, R.I.P. Yellow Ranger 12/14/1973 – 9/3/2001. She would go in my boff slot if I were white though.
Marry Boff Kill Bill: Lucy Liu, Daryl Hannah, Vivica A. Fox
May 3rd
Marry: Vivica A. Fox. (Copperhead). 1. Shes super hot. 2. Anyone who uses their middle initial every time you say their name is a bad ass. 3. Shes a former assassin, and now shes a mother. She has her priorities straight, and when she commits, she 100%. 4. She crafty.
Boff: Lucy Liu. (Cottonmouth). Granted shes the coolest and hottest of the three, I couldn’t deal with not being able to back talk to her, plus my balls would be in a huge bind. I would eventually end up making a racist joke to her and thus getting my head cut off.
Kill: Daryl Hannah. (California Mountain Snake). What a bitch. She has one eye for a reason.
Gtfo: Michae Madsen. You’re not even a woman. Gay.
Lesbians who look like Justin Bieber.
Apr 19th
Apparently theres a whole website full of them. Which is pretty funny, and slightly odd, because I find half of these women pretty attractive, which they are, and don’t get me wrong there’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian.
I guess this is what that Bieber fever is all about?
Oh, and…
Marry Boff Kill Kill: 1999 Female Pop: Mandy Moore, Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, Christina Aguilera
Apr 13th
Marry: Mandy Moore is amazing, her movies are top notch, and she is gorgeous. Maybe I’m a sucker for women with short hair.
Boff: Hottt. Plus amazing knockers. And an even hotter little sister.
Kill: I’m sick of hearing about Britney Spears. Anything to do with her would be drama. As we all know, she does not look good with short hair.
Kill: Gross.
2009 Woman? of the Year: Lady Gaga.
Mar 23rd
Lady Gaga understands the complex threats we face in the twenty-first century, and when those challenges demand action from the international community, she gets it done through a combination of skilled diplomacy and sheer determination. And she can fly.
Pros:
1. Next weirdo, in a long line of eccentric weirdos. Elton John, Prince, etc.
2. Her name is Lady Gaga.
3. Nearly fictional sense of fashion.
4. Music is tolerable.
5. Good source of comedic material.
6. Never a dull moment.
7. Sex appeal.
8. Freak.
9. Creepy.
10. Potentially a guy.
11. Cute nipples.
Cons:
1. No homo.
Here’s some fashion advice for you:
Previous “winners“:
- 2008 – Tina Fey. Runner up: Anne Hathaway
- 2007 – N/A
- 2006 – Queen of Narnia.
One more thing.. I think I stole this off tumblr, I don’t remember
Picking up bitches with bitches.
Mar 21st
Viral marketing + Photoshop fail = Puppy Pulling Power.
For the record, I could be way off on this, but it is a very cool website regardless. Puppypullingpower. Well, I am not entirely sure how I stumbled upon this site; I assure you it was not a google search that went along the lines of “obscure ways to pick up chicks”. It might have been through Geekologie.However, I can tell you why I stayed:
I recommend visiting or at least exploring the website before reading on… On to business. As the trailer says, they are conducting a test to see which puppy, for lack of better terms, pulls the most bitches. They choose five popular breeds and test out which ones get the most smiles per hour. To get the smile, they use some Sony Ericcson camera phone attached to the dogs collar that automatically takes pictures when a person smiles. This seems like a novel premise, and I wish they spent more time conducting the tests to help rule out “right place right time”. Except for one minor detail. As you can tell via the photo below, it is a man, not a camera attached to a dogs collar taking awesome photos of cleavage. In turn, it really takes all credibility out of the site and experiment.
Nonetheless I can’t help but to think that Sony created this entire site as an attempt at viral marketing, snooping down to the lowest common denominators. Well played.
- Boobs.
- Picking up women.
Bravo.
Marry Boff Kill: Shawshank Redemption: Rita Hayworth, Marilyn Monroe, Raquel Welch
Mar 13th
Marry: Rita Hayworth. Classy. Watch Gilda, you’ll be a believer.
Boff: Raquel Welch: Hotttttt. Most desired woman of the 70′s?
Kill: Marilyn Monroe: On top of being an attention whore, shes probably an actual whore, I’ve seen her naked, and she seems super high maintenance, dating presidents and baseball players.
Marry Boff Kill: Star Trek XI: Zoe Saldana, Winona Ryder, Rachel Nichols.
May 19th
Marry: Winona Ryder: She looks good at 300 or however old she is, plus shes a clepto! Cheap date! And shes always willing to try something new, she married a Vulcan.
Boff: Rachel Nichols: Could be coming down with a classic case of redhead, but how cool of a track record could you have if you’ve been with a green chick.
Kill: Zoe Saldana: This just won’t do. She’s way too picky, if you’re too good for Kirk, and need someone like Spock for your needs, thats way too high maintence. Plus shes a Trekkie, gross! (She played a trekkie from the Terminal, and now shes in Star Trek, crazy!)
Marry Boff Kill: Step by Step: Staci Keanan, Angela Watson, Christine Lakin
Apr 20th
I never knew this about Step by Step: “The title of the show has a double meaning. One meaning deals with the main idea of the show, which is getting re-married after the divorce/death of a spouse, and putting your life back together (one step at a time). The other meaning is that every member of the family is “step-” to half of the rest of the family, such as: stepbrother, stepmother, stepsister, stepfather, stepdaughter, and stepson.” (wikipedia)
Since I hardly remember the characters, and this is way too hard to base of looks alone, I stole more info off Wikipedia.
Marry: Karen Foster (Angela Watson) – An aspiring model, who was very vain, yet could be level-headed at times.
Boff: Alicia Lambert (Christine Lakin) - All-American girl, who later matured in her own right, despite wearing man-clothes.
Kill: Dana Foster (Staci Keanan) – Smart, but tried to be perfect, almost identical to Carol (high-strung). She was also known as a wisecracker and was openly hostile to the Lamberts, particularly J.T., Frank and Cody.
2008 Woman of the year. Elizabeth “Tina” Fey.
Apr 16th
(probably a little weird this is my favorite pictures of her)
If Tina Fey could win this contest every year, she would. This is a woman that has it all.
Pros:
- Talented beyond belief; a writer, comedian, actress, and producer. Winning six Emmys, three Golden Globes, and three Sag Awards.
- Beautiful! At 38 she looks amazing. Its ridiculous, either that or she can cheat time.
- Hilarious. Being so hilarious, it’s obvious its she also a genius with her unmatchable wit.
- Does a good Sarah Palin.
- Makes good Halloween outfits.
Cons:
- Married.
2008 Runner-up: Anne Hathaway. Steve Carell wins luckiest man for 2008, coincidentally.
Marry Boff Kill: The Office (US): Rashida Jones, Jenna Fischer, Melora Hardin.
Jan 28th
Marry: This exotic beauty is definitely Quincey Jones’ best piece of work. I think I’m really going to marry her.
Boff: Boys have the dream of having the teacher, and for grown men? Their boss. Especially when your boss is Melora Hardin.
Kill: After seeing this picture of Jenna, this decision was was a lot harder, process of elimination was the only thing that made this possible. That and the fact she was sort of a dingbat on the office for the first few seasons.
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