Hiatus II: Double disappointment.
Jun 30th
Yes, a second hiatus. Expect new posts in October. I’ll explain more, but I’m late for dinner.
The not so dynamic duo.
Jun 20th
Can you imagine if these guys met? I smell Sequel.
The image on the left you’ll most likely find either hilarious and/or disturbing. Nonetheless instead of describing this “real life Peter Pan” to you, you HAVE to check out his website.
One of my all time favorite villains, Anton Chigurh, from “No Country for Old Men” is a slightly similar looking, yet completely different person. If you haven’t seen the movie go see it, I’m still bothered by the ending. Definitely top ten movies though.
Oh… Happy Father’s day.
Jesus was Asian.
Jun 19th
The birthplace of Jesus, as you notice its located in Asia.
Accurate depiction.
Chuck this one up to the list of famous Asians, although you may argue that he is middle eastern, its still in Asia, making Jesus Asian. We’re running short on famous people, whites have Hitler, blacks have Tiger Woods, Africans have Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutombo, so give us Jesus.
I never really understood why all the middle easterners are Muslim, seeing as Jesus and that whole Christianity thing happened pretty close to them. Then again I never really cared to research it anyways. Top six religions:
- Christianity: 2.1 billion. 33%
- Islam: 1.5 billion. 21%
- Secular/Non-religious: 1.1 billion. 16%
- Hinduism: 900 million. 14%
- Chinese traditional: 400 million. 6%
- Buddhism: 375 million. 6%
Then again religion is silly anyways, it really just seems like another reason to judge someone. We already have race for that. Does this mix up the game?
I wonder what Jesus’s last name was? It’s not Christ.
Random number (13) of random ideas: XI.
Jun 13th
- They should have game show week, where game show hosts compete on other game shows. Like Alex Trebek on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” or Vanna White on “The Price is (White) Right”.
- It’s “okay” to pee in the shower while you’re standing in the shower, but not pee outside of the shower into the shower.
- Singing the Popeye theme before drinking your Redbull gives it an extra effect.
- Sadly, I think I’m more able to solve a problem in a video game compared to that same problem being applied to me in a real life situation. Think in the terms of using objects around you to build a bridge or something. Haha @ “Oooooooh, virtual yardwork”.
- If you do a google image result of “buffalo soldier”, you should really just get a bunch of pictures of minotaurs.
- I’d like to see a high speed chase featuring an ice cream truck, being chased by cops, playing the ice cream song really really really fast.
- They should spell team, “teiam” to solve problems.
- In the NFL, the extra point after a touchdown is scored, should be worth an extra 1 point for every 10 yards out its kicked from the 10 yard line.
- While we’re pointlessly changing rules to sports that have been going by tradition for years, the last few minutes of each quarter in a NBA game should count three point shots as four point shots.
- The only reason baseball is America’s past time is because basketball wasn’t invented yet.
- I’m one of those people who like to stop the microwave at 0:01 if I’m near by it because it makes me feel like I’m defusing a bomb. (I actually don’t like to hear the beep)
- Listening to NPR fundraisers is like listening to women argue, all they do is continually mention one thing over and over and over – and no matter what you do or say, they managed to convert what you said to that one thing.
- I can’t tell where the line is between brand loyalty and holding a grudge.
Where are they now? MMPR.
Jun 8th
Austin St. John (Jason Lee Scott \ Red Ranger):
Fortunately for this fellow, I don’t have to find some fictional story to what happened to this guy, because even though its not true, there are extensive reports that after MMPR, Austin changed his name or used an alias and joined the gay adult industry. Needless to say this isn’t true, and I wish I hadn’t gone to extensive searching to find out. Nonetheless today he is a real life saver as a paramedic.
Oh Yahoo questions, will you cease to entertain me? (Yes, SFW)
Walter Jones ( Zack Jones \ Black Ranger):
Years after MMPR, Walter’s fame still chasing him, Walter decided to change his name and take a Oceanic Flight from Los Angeles to Australia, ironically catapulting him into more fame on the hit reality show, LOST. As you notice his first born is named Walter, Coincidence? Yes.
David Yost ( Billy Cranston \ Blue Ranger):
David continued to study technology, and luckily for him Angel Grove was one of the first places to get a computer. He ripped apart Alpha and reconfigured him to what we all know and love today, Microsoft. As for his name if you switch the first and last names and add up the letter values on each name you’ll notice they’re the exact same. Coincidence? Yes. (B=2, G=7, ect.)
Thuy Trang ( Trini Kwan\ Yellow Ranger):
Sadly Thuy died in a car crash in 2001, but luckily for her she was a Buddhist, and was reincarnated as a Sabretooth tiger, which doesn’t even exist. Go figure.
Amy Jo Johnson ( Kimberly Hart \ Pink Ranger):
I know what we’re all thinking. I wish she did gay porn. Even though her career branched out in every other way, I’m sad to report that the former doesn’t exist. With a flourishing acting career, she released a few albums like everyone else in show-business (in which she spells “iTunes” incorrectly on her homepage), and continues to work in film and television. And shes Canadian! (+10)
Jason David Frank ( Tommy Oliver \ White\Green Ranger):
I’m not getting my ass beat for my website.
Youtube: MMPR (dub).
Jun 7th
Not a whole lot in the world of MMPR, I think this is as good as it gets.
The dumbest show ever. MMPR rant.
Jun 6th
For the life of me, I cannot understand why I loved this show as a child. I watched this religiously, and I remember its overnight popularity. Every morning on Fox 5 kids club, I was glued to MMPR, and when it ended my day pretty much sucked throughout school until it came on again in the afternoon. If you’ve never had the pleasure of watching a show, its ok – because every episode is the exact same, and I will explain to you each and every episode. These guys made millions for a show, that had terrible special effects, every episode the same, and in general is pure garbage. I’m just really bitter. Then again its a kids show, not Bravo.
How every episode goes:
- Show opens with awesome theme music, downhill from there.
- The guys upstairs decide to create a monster based off what the power rangers are doing.
- Putties are summoned and each ranger fights them off in their respective style (after morphing). The black ranger usually defeats one in some sort of break dance battle and it ends up exploding, the pink ranger ends up doing gymanstics – the putty gives up and kills himself, the blue ranger just runs like a pansy until someone who knows how to fight helps him, as for the other three rangers – they actually know… kung-fu. The yellow one being asian, naturally knows kung-fu and the other two may have picked it up at sometime or another.
- The monster shows up after the putties are defeated, a fight goes on at regular size, and once the Rangers seems to have the upper hand, Rita super sizes the monster.
- The power rangers then summon their dinosaurs, morph into the ultra supreme awesome super megazord.
- The giant monster and the Zord fight for awhile, the Zord slowly losing.
- Zord does power move, monster is destroyed.
- Rita bitches.
- Very very very very bad joke to end the show.
Random reasons why the show is stupid:
- Zordon requests Alpha to find “teenagers with attitude”, so what does Alpha do? He gets 5 kids who are hanging out at a juice bar. Why not get 5 kids from Compton or South Central.
- The show is racist.
- The special effects were terrible.
- Rita’s voice never went with what she was saying.
- The plot line is hilarious, some lady is trapped for ten thousand years, and the first thing she wants to do when she is out is destroy the nearest planet.
- This show has more loopholes than a basketball net.
- Why doesn’t Rita attack some place other than Angel Grove?
- Why don’t the monsters just squash the monster during the 10 minute period their dinosaurs are being summoned?
- Why do Bulk and Skull hang out with the Power Rangers if they hated them so much?
- Why didn’t Rita just make like 80 monsters?
- WHY IS THE THEME SONG SO FLIPPIN CATCHY?
I do wish I had better things to do than bash some kids show.
Mighty Morphin Racist Rangers.
Jun 4th
To be fair, its really Zordon who's the racist.
So take a gander at the picture above.
Notice anything peculiar? The black ranger is black, the yellow ranger is Asian, and the white ranger is white. Of course there wasn’t originally a white ranger, that would just be too obvious. So they made an intricate storyline on how they can equate him to a racist counterpart. Having two white rangers isn’t possible so they gave the female a similar white color, pink. The red ranger you say? Looks a bit Native American to me. Of course to avoid looking blatantly racist they disguise a would-be brown ranger, as a Mexican servant.
Marry Boff Kill: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Amy Jo Johnson, Machiko Soga, Thuy Trang
Jun 3rd
Marry: Barbara Goodson (Rita Repulsa) – First of all this bitch lives on the moon! The moon! No pesky neighbors, no crime rate, ect. Second of all she has a person on her staff who just makes people, everyday. Thats endless possibilities right there. Then she can make things grow, I would make her grow some gold bars I bought and boom! Super rich! She does have a super annoying voice however, but thats not really her voice. Go figure.
Boff: Amy Jo Johnson (Pink Ranger) – Nothing like your childhood crush.
Kill: Thuy Trang (Yellow Ranger) – Sadly Thuy died in a car crash, R.I.P. Yellow Ranger 12/14/1973 – 9/3/2001. She would go in my boff slot if I were white though.
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