http://www.random.org

1. As far as history is concerned the majority of coffee is served lawsuit hot. A trend emerged as flavored iced coffee, however no one prefers coffee warm. Cold or hot only. “Excuse me sir, may I have a lukewarm coffee?” is something you won’t be hearing anytime soon.
2. New terrible trend idea #9: Instead of answering “yes” to a question in which you would answer so, respond “does a bear shit in the woods” regardless the caliber of the quesition.
3. New terrible trend idea #10: Only comment people in facebook in the form of haiku.
4. The belief of white people having it better in America remains true, everyone knows that the white (man) is allowed to make the first move in chess, a further analogy this example when laundry is being done, the whites are to be washed seperately from the coloreds, and often allowed extra benefits. (reword terrible written)
5. Two things I have wanted to try as a contestant on Jeopardy. (1) Contiually keep answering questions in the wrong question form. E.G. “Who is Paris, France”, “Why is 1999″. (2) When filling in my name box, I would color in every part of the box except for my name, like so.
6. There should be an answer in Jeopardy that would be correctly responded to: “Where is ‘Where in the World is Carmen San Diego”, or for lack of a better idea “What is ‘what time is it’”. (they can’t all be winners folks)
7. Using the example from “Anchorman”, the above show would be “Where in the World is Carmen Whale’s Vagina”
8. Wikipedia states the birthrate of people being born every year around 134,000,000. In conjunction with the idiom “a sucker born every minute” that rounds out to the population being around .0034% suckers; which is a huge misrepresentation, especially in America. “a sucker born every second” would equate to roughly 24% of the population making it more seemingly accurate.
9. There should be a spinoff of the above idiom stating, “there is a sucker born again every minute”.
10. With the copius amounts of ridiculous comptetitive events, a tandem equivalent of the tour de france (or other tandem biking marathon) should be introduced, appropriately named “Tandem de France”.
11. Canada is cool, and it should be recognized by everyone. I submit that we change the saying “Canada: America’s hat.”, “Canada: America’s fedora.”.
12. While .com is the king of internet domain extensions, with the United States (.us) and Spain (.es) coming in close competition for runner-up, namely (pun intended) due to the reason they can spell random words using their extensions as a completion of words – spain sufficing for a suffix (word play intended). Although Canada can only spell 87 words with their extension (.ca), you ironically can spell Ameri.ca. Which would make for a nerd-clever motto: “Canada: You can’t spell America without Canada (.ca).”
13. A blowjob in the car, is known as roadhead. Would the equivalent of airplane and train head be known as “airhead” and “railhead” respecitvely.
14. Woman is to dingbat as man is to dingdong.
15. The “No solicitors” sign is a simple, uneffective, and lazy way to attempt to rid your home of Jehovah’s Witnesses, girl scouts, and vaccum salesman. I believe a more effective approach would be to have a tombstone on your front lawn stating as follows: Here lies Buddy, Vaccum salesman. (1950-2010)
16. I’ve thought long and hard on what I would like my tombstone to say and have narrowed it down to two choices: (1) Here lies Andy Hoho, peperony and chease” and would be engineered to be an exact replication of the tombstone from the Original Macintosh game “Oregon Trail”, the only differnce being Andy’s named would be corrected by my non-slave name; however, this would be a reference only appreciated by a few. (2) A second is a slight variant ripoff from “the Royal Tennenbaums”, equating to something where I die doing something valiant, not so much “dying from saving my family from a sinking ship” but maybe “died valiantly in WWIII (or some other war that doesn’t exist.”
17. I think this is already out there somewhere, but a third world war would have to have a very awesome subtitle “WWIII: Return of the Ally(ies)”, or something along those lines.
18. I’m becoming so anal with numbers I think I would like to die on my birthdate or at least on the 17th, on a year that is a 5 interval from my birthyear. Plus it would be courteous to people who are trying to figure out how old I was when I died. E.G.: (11-17-1984 – 11-17-2064, 5-17-2059, ect.)
19. A baby brother has emerged amongst the list of terrible inventions, in addition to the solar powered flashlight, wheelchair with pedals, I’ve decided to bring out the portable VHS player.
20. Lets throw indivually wrapped M&M’s on the list too.
21. First class served a rather anomolic item, being a individually wrapped “Twix Bar”, defying thier motto: two for me, none for you.
22. If you’ve heard the clip of Christian Bale’s irate outburst on the set of “Terminator”, a hilarious parody of that would be to have Leverne Troyer (Austin Powers’ Mini-me) to do a mock re-enactment.
23. You can guage the shittiness of an airport based off the name of it, if the airport is named after the city, the airport is nothing special. If its not, then you’re in for a treat: LAX, JFK, Ohare, McCarran, Ect.
24. We all know which airline black people choose: NWA.
25. They should make mock court case names based off common sayings and idioms, like “the case of quanity vs quality”
26. 1 (876) 626-3267 – Quite possible the coolest phone number, 187 on a mf cop.
27. Apple should make commercials using MacGuyver as their spokesman, where MacGuyver is in a tough situation and says, “Ok, I’m going to need an iPhone and… hmm, guess we’re ok”.
28. For a the series fenale of MacGuyver, he should have needed some plutonium, a Delorian, and a flux capictor.